Sneak Preview - Be Prepared To Die Alone

Each Monday until our second full-length album Come For the Peaks, Stay For the Valleys is released in late-November, I'll be posting a song off the record on our myspace page for you to preview and enjoy and talking a little bit about each song on this here blog.

Week four: Be Prepared To Die Alone

Where do I start with this one? This is possibly the most straight-forward song I've ever written. Usually I write the music for songs first and add lyrics later. I wrote the first half of this song in one shot sitting on my couch in the Capitol Hill apartment I shared with my ex-girlfriend. My dad had died a month earlier and the sadness and shock I had from that event exacerbated the problems we were having in our relationship.

The working title of the song was "Your Shoes" because I was attempting to put myself in my ex's position of dealing with someone who had become extremely emotionally volatile. After I wrote the first verse from what I imagined to be her standpoint, I wrote the second verse explaining my frustration and in the chorus (for lack of a better word) brought the parts together to point out that we were both at odds with each other and both struggling with the relationship. We hadn't broken up yet, but I knew we were well on our way there.

This blog sounds like a diary entry; I suppose that matches the song, though.

I intended for the song to be stowed away in my mellow solo repertoire until I wrote the last half of the song where the rock kicks in. I loved that we did a he said/she said with David singing the second verse. It felt all Fleetwood Mac or something.

Recording the vocals for this song was kind of a trip. This was the first song Mark, our engineer, and I recorded vocals for. Mark lived in an apartment attached to the Avast! studio and on a few occasions, he and I sneaked in late at night after everyone had left so we could record for free (ssssshhh, don't tell Stuart!). Mark was one of those people who could get on a creative roll and stay up all night working on something. I am rarely one of those people, so usually by midnight, my effort to do some ninja recording was done. Anyway, I recorded the vocals for this song two days after the inevitable big, nasty break up so it was no struggle to put every ounce of intention behind each word I sang.

In a hilarious other late-night-ninja recording session, Mark, along with the rest of the Hellgaters, sneaked into Avast! to record all of the guys' background vocals. It was the only time during the recording process where I didn't have to be in charge of anything, so I brought some beers, kicked back, and let the guys do their thing. The lesson I learned: I should never relax on the job. We forgot to record David's dueling vocal line at the end of the song. When Mark and I mixed the song, I realized what had happened, so we had David sing the line and tried to blend it in with the mix. It barely peaks through at the end, which kind of sucks for the recording because it hammered home the idea of arguing, but now that David's not in the band, the line probably won't be there live anymore anyway.

As I started writing this post, I had a conversation about how long I've been holding onto the songs on this album as we've been constantly postponing its release. I'm especially glad to move on from this one.

If you gave me the time I wouldn’t walk into walls
Trying to find a clock that shows me when you’ll arrive
To this I’ll resign all hope for an easy life
And a love that never raises the question if we’ll survive

I can be calm, be strong
But can I be the one to carry on
I can be smart, be bright
I’m not so sure I’ll end up your wife
You can be harsh and your sharp tongue
Will cut me right out of your life

If you gave me the time I wouldn’t be what you want
I thought you loved that I seized the life in night?
To this I’ll confide, in a way, you were right
But on your quest for perfection, be prepared to die alone

I can be calm, be strong
But can I be the one to carry on
I can be smart, be bright
I’m not so sure that this is for life
You can be harsh and I’m done with
Fight after fight, night after night

On your search for everything
Fuck you for giving up on me
Bend and bust these silver rings
A promise to you breaks so easily
We are bigger than
Fight after fight, night after night

(Happy [un] Anniversary, Teresa. You can find perfection. You were right and you did the right thing. Good luck.)